This Too Belongs: The Power of Vulnerability in Grief

What do you do when the tears come?

When you cry, do you allow yourself to cry? Or is there a part of you that wipes the tears away, thinking, “Okay, that’s enough. Pull yourself together.”

Or do you allow yourself to enter the state of grief? To let it take you, even though it feels unpleasant and you do not know where it will lead?

I’m taking a Buddhist psychology course right now, and one teaching that has stayed with me is this: “Don’t make this experience your enemy.” Don’t turn your thoughts into your enemy.

In other words, if tears come, whether you are sitting down for meditation or driving in the car, can you welcome the experience?

Could you practice Tara Brach’s mantra, “This too belongs.”

Could you embrace your humanity and recognize that being human includes the full range of emotions?

As Kahlil Gibran writes, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

Connecting with your tenderness is a practice. At first it may feel uncomfortable, but it is part of normalizing the highs and lows of being human and allowing the energy to move through.

Letting go. Letting be. Letting in.

And if allowing yourself to feel feels overwhelming, there are spaces where your sorrow can be safely held and contained. Grief and longing deserve space to be witnessed.

What if, when the tendency is to withdraw, we practiced the opposite and allowed ourselves to be seen and cared for?

As Brené Brown writes, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection.”